Insecurity dogged me as a new believer. Seeking some sign from God. Never sure what He wanted me to do. Decisions agonized over, unlike when I was not a Christian. Was easier before conversion, not worrying about God. Now, indecisiveness worsened. I truly wanted to follow the Lord’s lead. What gives? Doesn’t sound right, does it?
Judges 6 contains the story of Gideon. Hardly a fearless leader. Lots of questions and doubts of his own. His faith in the God of Israel rather weak. Even blames God for deserting His people in the face of relentless enemies. Makes lots of excuses. Even tests God with those fleeces of his. Fleeces that question what God has already told him. Not faith in action, but indecision and uncertainty.
I was not much different than Gideon. We were confused ‘brothers’, not knowing who to trust, even the Lord. Now as I look back, I cut myself some slack. Being young has its insecurities. Nature of that stage in our lives. As we grow, hit some ‘speed bumps’ of disturbing times, we see God at work in ways we never expected. We can trust Him more. Don’t need all the answers to our infernal questions. Leaving it with the Lord makes much more sense. A bit long in the tooth now, I can grasp this more. Not tight but holding onto His hands with all the strength I can muster. I may be weak, but He remains strong.
Never been a fan of Gideon. For his lack of faith, as I see it. Now, I give him a break for he is listed in the ‘Hall of Faith’ of Hebrews 11. Thankfully, the Lord doesn’t hold our weak faith against us. Rather, He gently, but firmly, prods us to keep growing, keep maturing in Jesus. Press forward to gain more of His wisdom. Want to join me? After all, couldn’t your faith need a bit more of the same?
Prayer: Thank you, Lord, for not giving up on us. Grow us as men and women of maturing faith in your Son Jesus. In His name. Amen.